God always makes a way

Here are some random things I have come to discover as I have worked on myself in the 12 steps of Celebrate Recovery over the last year and half:


Faith is grounded in a relationship with God, who knows the way for me and promises to lead me on it. It is both my attitude and action towards God.

I am designed for dependence on Him.

Trying to get through this life on my own limited strength, knowledge, and resources leads to futility and a loss of hope.

No matter what limitation or circumstance I am struggling against, God can empower and equip me beyond what I thought possible.

God will make a way for me, perhaps in ways I don’t expect. And He does His best work when I am at the end of myself and admit it.

My walk with the Lord will be richer, more fulfilling, and more successful if I surround myself with people who are committed to support me, encourage me, assist me, keep me accountable, and pray for me.

I need to recognize the value and need for God’s wisdom in my life; I need to ask Him to show me and help me search for His wisdom actively. God always knows what to do, when I don’t.

I need to leave my baggage behind and let God have me. Holding onto my baggage from my past will hinder my journey with God – He can show me how to leave my baggage behind.

I need to take responsibility for my own life, own up to my faults, and accept blame where it is justified – and stop pointing my finger. It’s my responsibility to live a life which reflects Him and His principles.

I need to welcome problems in my life as gifts from God to help me become a better Christian for His Kingdom. God sees my difficulties different from the way I do. God’s way is not out of my problems but through them.

I need to accept pain as a part of life. Acceptance will help me live in God’s reality so I can adapt and change to the way things really are and learn to trust God.

God has a heart. He feels deeply, especially about me and my rebellion really hurts Him.

God knows and can identify with my sufferings because of Jesus. I need to view my problems as the next step in my growing relationship with Him.

When God makes a way for me, it usually takes time, so I must allow time for God to work. Time allows God’s healing ingredients to be applied in my situation. Time is a blessing, not a curse. I need to realize that even though I can’t see God, He is working behind the scenes. I must sow the seed He gives me and wait patiently for Him to water that seed to sprout and produce fruit.

I need to love God passionately with every area of my life, including my pain, my fear, and my despair. If I love God, connect to Him, and follow Him as He commands, I will value what He values and seek to do what honors Him and is best for me.

When I am in a bad situation, I must not pull away from God but draw closer. I need to love God in that situation. Invite Him into my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. I need to immerse myself in His love and He will show me the way. God will make a way for me to the extent that I make a way for Him in my heart. God needs access to every part of me.

I need to realize that God wants the best for me. God has grace and mercy for me and is committed to work in me, with me. God loves me completely and He is going with me every step of the way. I need to listen attentively to God. I need to submit, wholly, to God.

God is always good and loves you very much. Blogactchalater

-gravyjmm

Over and Over and Over and Over and Over...

The implication of inconsistency is intangible to insanity. I sound pretty smart but not really. I thought it would be fun to say that. I think what I just said was, “The suggestion of unpredictability is vague to madness.” Which to me sounds like a college professor quote? Actually I like the discussion of insanity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and expecting different results each time. How many have I thought that I could control the situation by yelling, screaming, getting angry and getting my point across and being sarcastic and rude and still couldn’t control the situation. I many times have I been quiet about my spouse’s addiction, protected them by doing for them what they can do for themselves and thinking they would change with my help and lo and behold they were still addicts. How many times have I tried to forget my pain by drinking and drugging and the pain was still there. How many times did I think my problems would just go away and they didn’t? Well if insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and expecting different results each time…then what is the definition of sanity? How about… “wholeness of mind; making decisions based on the truth.” There is only one truth that I know…that’s God’s word, Jesus. Read this acrostic from celebrate recovery about SANITY:

Strength
Acceptance
New Life
Integrity
Trust
Your Higher Power

Strength - With Jesus as my only source of life, He gives me the strength to face my fears of my past hurts, hang-ups, or habits that normally would fight, flee, or freeze. Psalm 46:1 tells me that, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear” Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” I basically cut myself from the power source and try to work on my own. A lamp can’t work if isn’t plugged in; like wise I go nuts trying to figure it all at on my own, relying my own strength and understating to live and I burn out because I’m not plugged in to the source…God. Choosing to allow my life to finally run on God’s power—not my own limited power, weakness, helplessness, or sense of inferiority—has turned out to be my greatest strength. Where I am weak, He is strong.

Acceptance – Romans 15:7 says,” Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” I need learn and understand to have REAL expectations of myself and others. God sees through my mess, pain, sin, guilt and saw that I was worthy saving. I need to have these same eyes for myself and others. The Serenity pray specifically asks God, “to give us the courage to change the things we can and to accept the things we cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference...” As you or I rely more Jesus everyday and moment by moment…we start to accept others as they really are, not as we would have them be! We accept our own responsibilities and stop putting blame on others.

New Life – the truth is, when you’re at the bottom, there’s no place but up. 2 Corinthians tells us, “…We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” The penalty for our sins was paid in full by Jesus on the cross. The hope of a new life is freedom from our bondage! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! It’s awesome to know that Jesus came to give you a new life, you don’t have to hold on to your sins, pain, guilt, shame…He took them from you.

Integrity - We gain integrity as we begin to follow through on our promises. Others start trusting what we say. The apostle John placed great value on integrity: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Remember, a half-truth is a whole lie, and a lie is the result of weakness, shame, and fear. Truth fears nothing—nothing but a cover up! The truth often hurts. But it’s the lie that leaves the scars. A man or woman of integrity and courage is not afraid to tell the truth. Jesus says that truth will set us free and He gives us what we need to be truthful and live in integrity.

Trust – Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” As we “let go and let God” and admit that our lives are unmanageable and we are powerless do anything about it, we learn to trust ourselves and others. We begin to make real friendships that last…the more that I became brutally honest with myself, the better the relationships I have made because I no longer hide and those that I am close with are the same…there is no judging or beat down…pure accountability and companionship - friends whom you can trust, with whom you can share, with whom you can grow in Christ.

Your Higher Power - Jesus Christ, loves you! “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” Romans 5:8. No matter what comes your way, together you and God can handle it! “And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out” (1 Corinthians 10:13). “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens” (Psalm 68:19). If Jesus is your Lord and Savior, He will help you in your time of trails.

Well that’s enough from me for now. Ask yourself…What I am doing over and over again and expecting different results and it’s just not working? There is hope! Blogacthalater.

-gravyjmm

sdfouawhvasn

So as the year begins dost doeth stuff! I tend to have a habit of noticing things as they occur as most tend to do! In the last the year or so there have been 3 or 4, I believe, Dictators who have died and there is one whom is very sick and soon to be deceased! Coincidence or Na! You be the adjudicator. I'm thinkin' na. There is always a reason that things happen but I don't have the answers. I just accept them. I not really sure where I am going with this but it seems to me that quite a few men who thought there were powerful are now pushing up daisies...hey food for thought. Anyways be sure to observe the things going on in the world…Maybe someone is trying to get your attention! Blog atchalater!
-gravyjmm

2007...baby! (literally)

Big happens’ in 2007…my baby girl will be born, I eventually turn 30, just maybe the Redskins will figure “it” out what that “it” is, Wrestlemania 23, my wife and I’s 3rd anniversary, and probably some other things but just can’t remember them right now. I am not sure what the New Year brings for you but I hope that you are blessed in this coming year…blog at ya later.
-gravyjmm

HELP????

Pain, guilt, addiction, sin there such a beast…where can one get help for this? I have a friend who struggles with sexual addiction and is a registered sex offender. There is a church that has a program to help sex addicts but this church will not let this man in because he is a registered sex offender. I understand that this could cause problems because this church is also a school. My question is and is to all Christians…where do these people (sex offenders) get help? If all men were real, how many times have we had sexual thoughts or acted out in our sexual fantasies…but condemned those who were sex offenders. Now I am not excusing there sin, but just saying where can they go get help if the church will not allow them in. Jesus came for the sick and the church is a safe place, not a place of judgment but a place where Jesus’ bride, God’s children shares their burdens and victories with each other. It’s a place where sin is confronted but the sinner is accepted. Now I know there would be a lot of Christian would argue with me but I know that my sin is on the cross just the same as yours and that sex offender. I don’t believe in tolerance to sin, I believe in confronted the sin and dealing with it and the church is suppose to be a place for sinners, not perfect people. Do you think we have to answer to God for putting a restriction on who comes into His church? Isn’t putting a restriction on those who come being judgmental? I have thought a lot about this because I’m a father. I have thought do I want a registered sex offender around my children and my first thought is no. Then I realize that I am around my son and soon to be daughter and realize…hey I’m a sinner and I’m around my family…really what’s the difference…sure there’s a difference in my eyes but what about God’s eyes? I know that there are some registered sex offenders who are genuinely sorry for what they’ve done and there are those who aren’t and will probably do “it” again but how many time have you sinned and felt sorrow but turned around and did “it” again. I am just as guilty. If the church shuts its doors than where can one get help? Just something to think about!
-gravyjmm

I've got Good News...

Jesus is your, my, our Savior…He really did die for you! God sent His Son into this world to save you and me from hell, our sins, from punishment, from our sorrow and guilt. He really loves you and He wants to come to Him. Yes you are a sinner and so I am, but God saw through our sins and saw something worth saving…you, me. He is full of forgiveness, mercy, grace, love, compassion, kindness, gentleness, He will never leave you nor forsake you even when you turn from Him, He made you, He loves you, and you are worth dying for. The world will not give you what God can give you. The world has nothing for you, in God through Jesus; you’ll have everything you need. Are you sick of being sick? Are you just tired? Has going to the world to fix yourself not working? If your empty, hurting, fearful, lost, out of control, in denial, feeling hopeless, afraid to die, depressed, an addict…Jesus is the only answer to fill your void. God wants you to talk with Him, say whatever you need to, don’t be superficial with Him, be real, let the walls down. God wants you to walk with Him, there’s that God can’t fix, heal, there’s no limit to His power…No matter how bad or how awful you think you are, nothing can change the fact that Jesus died for you and God made you and He wants you to come to Him. I used to think and sometimes I still struggle with that fact that God does forgive and forget, the devil doesn’t want you to believe that, the devil wants you to think that you’re worthless and hopeless and you’re a rotten person. The devil always lies and he uses our crap to keep us down. God doesn’t waste our hurts, our pain, our troubles…He uses them to strengthen us and bring us closer to Him. In the name of Jesus, devil flee from us right now and God protect our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus at this moment. You are worth dying for, Jesus did already…come to Him...to be continued

OUR FATHER...

WHO IS GOD?

Eternal (Psalms 10:16)
Everlasting (Psalms 90:2)
Great (Nehemiah 1:5)
Awesome (Nehemiah 1:5)
Compassionate (Psalms 86:15)
Patient (Psalms 86:15)
Faithful to forgive our sins (1 John 1:9)
Faithful to forget our sins (Jeremiah 31:34)
King of everything (1Chronicles 29:12)
Giver of Strength (1Chronicles 29:12)
Good (Psalms 136:1)
Slow to Anger (Psalms 86:15)
Abounding in Love (Psalms 86:15)
Faithful (Psalms 86:15)
Love (1John 4:8)
Holy (1 Samuel 2:2)
The Rock (1 Samuel 2:2)
Powerful (Romans 1:16)
Promise Keeper (2 Peter 1:4)
Mighty (1Peter 5:6)
Merciful (Nehemiah 9:31)
Gracious (Nehemiah 9:31)
The Perfect Planner (Jeremiah 29:11)

There is so much more I could write but sometimes words aren't enought to express who He is nor do I have enough time to write about it! How have you told or expressed to God how thankful you are to Him? Maybe you don't view God the way I do, but I know how He views you...He wonderfully made you and sent His son to save you and there's nothing you can do to make Him love you anyless, He's waiting for you...He's the Father that never leaves nor forsakes you even when you or I forsake Him.
-gravyjmm

Random thought:

What is spam (that canned meat thing)? It's formed to the can container and has white particles and it tastes like a wet salt. But yet I eat it!

WHO AM I?

Thoughts and questions to ponder:

If God isn’t your source of security, your source of strength, your source of life, than what is? What’s filling the void in your life…if it’s not Jesus, than something is, what is it? What gives you your motivation? You don’t have to be addicted to drugs or alcohol to be an addict! How do you deal with your issues? How do you deal with pain, sorrow, guilt? How do behave behind closed doors…the same when everyone sees you? Do you wear masks around others? Who are you really? What’s really on your mind when your tossing and turning at night when your trying to sleep and can’t? Is it easy to take other people’s inventory rather than look at yourself? I bet you feel that the whole world would be lost without you! Where would people be if you weren’t around? You must have all the right answers! Your way is always better isn’t it! If it wasn’t for “those” people or if my parent(s) did a better job or if so and so hadn’t screwed me over, I’d be okay! If people did things my way, everything would be better! Oh…I’m fine, I don’t have any struggles! Complainer, Quitter, Self-Seeker, My-Wayer, Gossiper, Liar, Procrastinator, Fornicator, Drunkard, Drugger, People-Pleaser, Mask-wearer, Controller, Hater, Power Monger, Unbeliever, No-Self-Esteemer, Pity-Partier, Unfaithfuler, Pornographer, Conditional Lover, Resenter, Two-Facer, Luster, Evil-Doer, Worrier, Doubter, Afraid-to-take-a-chancer, Abuser, Negativitier, Hold-People-To-Your-Standards, Racister, Whinner, Tear-Downer, Non-Listener, Cusser, Overeater, Bad-Mouther, Downer, "Someone Else" er, Playing Churcher, Faker, Blamer, Greedier, Isolator, Pridefuler, Adulterer(Physically or Mentally or Emotionally), It’s all about me so whatever! Oh…I’m fine

Procrastinater Hater

Ya ever had “that” dream were you’re standing around and everyone is looking at you funny, you look down and realize that you’re naked. I believe the term that is used is “being caught with your pants down” which is in reference to not being ready, prepared. Procrastination is a beast. How often do you say to yourself, “I’ll get there” or “I get to it” or “I’ll get around to it here in a bit”…and guess what, what ever that “it” is, never happens. Are you ready for Christ’s return? Are you ready to meet the one and only Savior? Or are you waiting to get around to “it”? Are you putting off getting to know Jesus? Are you thinking that you’ll get around to it one of these days? Tomorrow isn’t promised, all you have is this moment right now. Who’s Lord of your life, God or you? There’s only one way to heaven…and being good isn’t good enough because you or I will never be good enough to save ourselves, that’s why Jesus died for you and I, so we could be saved. Jesus made it possible for you and I to live forever, but you have to decide to follow Him. God’s waiting for you…how much longer will you put Him off?
-gravyjmm

Today is Tuesday November 21, 2006, and tomorrow obviously will be Wednesday November 22…which will be my 29th Birthday. In my short narration of life, I have come to several conclusions and I wish to share them:

Tabasco sauce is a necessity

Do not make sport of the older community’s specific health problems because you will obtain them…i.e. especially anything to do with bowel movements

Even though I have never met or never played or never really done anything with the Washington Redskins other than being a fan for life, I still include myself when I use the “we” statement in referring them as if I had anything to do with the team.

You will fall prey to subliminal messages that Wal-mart flings about and you will find yourself there once a week for the rest of your life buying something simply because it’s cheaper there.

You will fall prey to subliminal messages that McDonalds flings about and you will find yourself there once a week for the rest of your life buying something simply because it’s cheaper there...they have convinced my 4 year old son that they are where he needs to eat

Twinkies are still relevant

I used to be able to eat what I wanted to without adding any more weight to my body...that has apparently stopped working for me

Being married...pennies, nickles, and dimes are very relevant

thats all for now
-gravy jmm

Detox

Ya ever notice that the news at night on TV loves to cover fear, death, crap, and chaos. The media loves to feed us garbage. They (the media, society, take your pick) say that sex, turmoil, gossip, fear, fill in the bank, just sells. You ever notice when you eat things that aren’t that good for you, well you feel tired, out of shape, sick, maybe even depressed. Sometimes the best thing to do is detoxify yourself. Eat right, drinks lots of water, exercise and sweat, you just feel better when all the toxins in your body leave. It’s probably a good idea to detoxify from the media and the TV. To quote Jack Nicholson in Batman, “What this town needs in anemia.” Maybe its time for the garbage to be taken to the road.

-gravy jmm

Where ya standing?

Ah separation of church and state! I love irony! A church can’t endorse any political party or they will lose their tax exemption and get in lots of trouble. Prayer has been removed from schools and there’s even talk of removing “under God” from the pledge. There’s a gag order on people mentioning anything about God in school, workplace, and the like. God’s not allowed in the judicial system. And almost all voting takes place in church buildings. How much longer are God’s children going be tolerate their country not standing where it once stood? Peter told the Sanhedrin that He must obey God rather than men and he wasn’t afraid of what might happen to him. What are Christians so afraid of? The Bible warned of these times and these times are upon us now. God’s got my attention, how about yours…
-gravyjmm

Just Blessed!

Forgive me for not blogging in almost a month. Life has been crazy and our internet has been down. This will seem like I just wrote a book but please bare with this long blog, I has been blessed beyond anything all because of God and if your read this I hope you will be blessed by this testimony of God’s loving kindness and the miracles He does everyday.

Today is November 1, 2006 and my family and I just moved into a new home. How we got into this home can only be explained by this: God and God alone. It starts on June 1, 2006 when I went to my landlord and paid him the rent for the place we were staying in. He told me that he had fallen on some hard times and that the taxes on his property were going up and he was going to sell the house that we were staying in sometime in the near future and he would start working on it somewhere within 3 to 6 months. On June 15, 2006 he called me and told me to be out by the 1st of July. So much for being comfortable. Bob (one of my elders at church) and his wife Terry let us move in with them until we found a place of our own. We moved out on June 29, 2006 and on June 30, 2006…we (my wife and I) found out we were pregnant. We had no insurance and we thought we would be eligible for Medicaid. Well I was wrong. As we moved 90% of our stuff in storage and began to settle in Bob and Terry’s place, we though we’d had a plan laid out for us. Again I was wrong. To make a long story a little shorter. What we wanted to save for a place to live didn’t happen because of numerous things: Medical bills for Melissa’s pregnancy, fixing automobiles, paying off some past due bills and the like. We are on a payment program with hospital for our baby girl to be, to pay for the whole birth and stuff. I thought all the money was needed by January, instead it was all due by November 9, 2006. That wiped us completely out. We had to move out of Bob and Terry’s by the 1st of November. Here’s what I want you to pay attention to…I had made a commitment to God that no matter what I be faithful to Him, finically and spiritually. In our worst times, finically, I was told by many people, even those closest to me, “Don’t give any money to God,” but I stayed the course. I believed in my heart that if I was obedient and faithful to God and just did what He wanted me to do, I would be okay. I was facing the possibility of being homeless with my wife, son, and baby to be but I stayed to the course and held to my commitment to God. I trusted God wouldn’t let my family be homeless and was encouraged that if God can speak the world into existence in 6 days, my problems are nothing for Him to deal with. I had to be out on Friday October 27…on Wednesday my mom called me told that there was this house for rent, I had looked at dozens of house and nothing worked out so I wasn’t going to go besides I had no money, but something to me to check it out. That something turned out to be the Holy Spirit because when I checked out the house it was exactly what we needed and so I called the Landlord and he told me he needed the money by today which was $1700. I didn’t have a nickel, seriously. I had found out that people had given money for my family and I for housing…it was exactly what we needed. We had to be out by Friday October 27, 2006 and I had the keys to this house on Thursday October 26 2006. God did for me what I couldn’t do and He honor my commitment to Him. As an added bonus, I have been surrendering my baby to Him on a daily basis and before this little girl is even born, she has everything she needs. God is so good and He has blessed me so much and I hope this story encourages you to walk and talk with God and trust Him with all your heart and no matter what…stay obedient to Him. Life is painful and God is great all the time. Thanks for listening.

-gravyjmm

so so suck my toe all the way to mexico

Things just keep getting fascinating and stuff. What I thought would be a solo project for a music CD, is turning out to be a new band being formed which we are sounding like Alice in Chains meets Emerson, Lake, and Palmer meets Dear Ephesus meets Folds Zandura meets Praise and Worship…I’m not sure how those sound mixed but I’m thinking it rocks. The suspense is finally over with my wife and I’s pregnancy…we have come to found out that on Feb. 28 2007, which is our due date, that we will be having a baby girl…I’m totally screwed…her name will be Amber Danyelle…isn’t that cute. The joys of new baby…my son is happy and promises to be the bestis (that’s what he said) brother. So have fun in cyber land and remember God loves you and He’s waiting for you.
-gravy jmm

noise of a positive frequency

Are you ready for a noise of a positive frequency? The freakuency is coming soon! To be continued - the "JMF"

anticipating things like fresh cookies from the oven

Anticipation is enjoyable especially when one has something that they are anticipating. In the 1st week of October my wife and I will found out what we are having, either the baby is a boy or a girl. Everybody that I know thinks it’s a girl, but I know the truth…it has to be a boy because no girl has been born on my side of the family and its not starting with me. If it is a girl, I already have a camouflage military issue uniform with a black mask and black gloves. I also just completely time in a music studio and cut a demo and as I blog, the demo is on its way to Nashville. My wife and I also are looking for a place to live as we have a moving date of the 1st week in November…so you see anticipation seems to be a theme in my life. But I am most anticipating Christ’s return, because that will rock on more than anything that has ever rocked on before…can I get a witness or an amen in the house. So as I am anticipating quite much, I am praying that I remain obedient to God and that accept whatever life gives me, because I know that God is bigger than me and any of my circumstances. Would you like fries with your anticipation, sir?
-gravy jmm

"CRICKIE"...R.I.P.

What a bummer…Steve Irwin died this weekend. I always thought that a crocodile or some snake would get him but not a sting ray. Anyways, my son and I enjoyed him and I thought he was very entertaining and hilarious to watch…Steve Irwin will be missed. If you have never Collision Course, I recommend it…its not an academy award type movie, it’s just absolutely funny and crazy.
-gravyjmm

Yea

I have been told that I have been very lackadaisical in my blogish ways. Forgive me and I will try to post more frequently.

Today is Monday and Ernesto seems to be heading towards Florida…yeah, another hurricane. This looks like this will be my 4th one in 3 years…bring it! I love the hostility that people have with each other during “these” times. Water, non-perishables, and gas become an essential commodity and people will just “scrap” over what they had first or that they were in line first…I’m sure you’ve seen it. It’s like what happens at 5:30 am on Black Friday, only worse. Any-the-ways, this is probably a good time for us “Jesus Freaks” to show the love and trust in which we have in God. I have learned that a lost world only sees Jesus in me, so it’s a good time to display Him, actually any and all time is a good time to display Jesus. Ready…how can I serve you today?
-gravyjmm

SPPOOOOONNN!

About six years ago I remember having a conversation with a fellow co-worker, that was once a democrat mayor somewhere in New York, and we had a discussion on truth. I held a spoon up and asked him what I was holding and he said, “I perceive it as a spoon, but someone else might not see that it is a spoon.” I replied by saying, “Someone’s ignorance that this is a spoon doesn’t change the fact that is a spoon.” What he was saying is that what truth is to me is different than what truth is to you. Because of this kind of thinking, we have 3, 687, 944 branches of the church as well as some 6, 345, 783 false religions. Because of this thinking, the world is as it is today. The truth is, I am in a recovery program because I used to look at my version of the” truth”. Jesus says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and love your neighbor as yourself, but I say what’s in it for me and its all about me. Jesus says that truth will set you free. I wonder how tainted are thinking really is? How far away is the world from truth? Truth is…I have gas and it smells! Does the way you think smell?

-gravyjmm