I Want to be Drafted!

Today is one of my favorite days…it’s the NFL draft and being a fervent Washington Redskins fan, I get real eager to see who they will snag. This year they’re not picking until 53 because they traded there 1st pick to the Broncos last year for Jason Campbell. I am also in to the draft just because I am a major NFL and a college football fan. I am interested into seeing where some of the players that I watched in college that I really liked will wind up. I can only image what these guys must feel like on draft day. Some have worked so hard and have achieved so much for this day to play in the NFL. Some of these athletes have some real awesome exercise and eating disciplines to keep them in extreme shape. Because I am such a nut about football and the draft I got to thinking about my life and where my walk with the Lord was…and I wondered if there was a “Kingdom” draft for kingdom workers…where would I be drafted? I wonder how much emphasis I put on my conditioning for God’s Kingdom. I wonder how hard I am really working at loving God and loving what God loves. Am I really living up to the potential that God has given me or am I burying my talents? I wonder if I am just doing what I need to on the surface. I know over the years there have been college players who were hyped into being these “great” NFL stars and they turned out to be nothing but a bust. Sometimes I can be my worst enemy because I can con myself into believing my own hype when I am nothing but a bust because I am not doing what I can be doing. I know that God loves me and that He has a purpose for me…I believe that but sometimes I know it in my head and I don’t live from my heart. I am a work in progress and I can reach the potential that God has given me…I believe I just have to get out of His way and let Jesus come into my heart and mold me. Then maybe God will draft me to do His kingdom work because He now can use me because I let go and I am allowing Him to use me.

-Gravy JMM

I have to stop being a wuss

To quote the band “Tears for Fears”…”Shout, Shout let it all out…” Sometimes you just have to shout. I have found in the 12 step Celebrate Recovery program that I am involved, actually the better word here would be engrossed in…I used to blame everyone and everything for my issues. Come to find out, it has always been me. I used to think recovery programs were for “those people” when all along I had hurts, habits, and hang-ups. What does this have to do with shouting? In recovery I introduce myself as: James, a child of God who struggles with co-dependency, anger, sexual integrity, depression, religious spirit, food addiction. You see I struggle…and I try not to live in my struggles. I have always stuffed my issues and I have found out that stuffing only lasts for so long. I finally came to a point in my life were I was going to BLOW…God finally got my attention. I was sick of being sick and sick of wrestling God, a match that I can’t win. Having said all of this and probably wasting a minute of your time, here’s what I really wanted to say…I am shouting to God that I am sick of being a 90 lb wuss, and I want to trust God with everything that I am, not 68%...everything…100%.

Step 3 in Celebrate recovery stats, “3. Made a decision to turn our life and our will over to the care of God. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God –this is your spiritual act of worship.” Romans 12:1 NIV. This is really hard because its COMPLETE surrend…I have to give up and turn to God. Here is STEP 3’s prayer:
Dear God, I have tried to do it all by myself, on my own power, and I have failed. TODAY, I want to turn my life over to You. I ask you to be my Lord and Savior. You are the One and ONLY Higher Power! I ask You to help me think less about me and my will. I want to daily turn my will over to You, to daily seek Your direction and wisdom for my life. Please continue to help me overcome my hurts, habits, and hang-ups and may that victory over them help others as they see Your power at work in changing my life. Help me to do Your will always. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.

I can be such a wuss but I am thankful that God loves and gives me the strength and peace to do what I have to do. Basically, I am nothing without God. So for me, I know what the scriptures say in my head…its time for to live them from my heart. God is and always will be bigger than me and there is nothing impossible for Him to do. WORDS ARE JUNK…Its time for me to just do it, just trust Him. So if you read this, and you have struggles…there is nothing too difficult for God to fix, you just have to let Him do it. Remember if God’s not in control of your life, your life is out of control. I might be a wuss and have 83 things that I struggle with…I am forgiven and God has grace for me through Jesus and God can remove from me what doesn’t belong…I just have to move myself aside and let Him use His Holy Spirit to guide me and He will do the same for you.

Sincerely a wuss in recovery;
-Gravy JMM

Remembering Columbine

I realize that today is the 7 year anniversary of the Columbine shootings. I remember waiting tables at Rio Bravo in Orange Park and hearing on the news of the shootings and I remember thinking why would someone or people do this? I realize now, 7 years later, the finger is still pointing at who to blame: The parents, the police, Marilyn Manson, the ones who sold them the guns, and so on. The truth is that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold pulled the triggers, no one else. The truth is Eric and Dylan had some pain and chose to take the pain out the wrong way and lot of lives were destroyed because of their choice. Nothing could have prevented the Columbine shootings except Eric and Dylan. The hardest thing that I have had to come to accept in my life is that I CAN’T control or change anyone, what they say or what they do. The sad truth is that there always seems to be headlines like this in the news of tragedy after tragedy. My sponsor tells me that there are 2 types of people: Those in recovery and those who need to be. The only thing I can do is let God change me and for me to deal with my hurts, habits, and hang-ups the right way, God’s way and not the way that Eric and Dylan did. Columbine was a heart-breaking tragedy as so many other occurrences like it. Pray for the lost and if you are a child of God, be a mirror that reflects Christ because Jesus is the only hope for this world and a lost person is only going to see Christ if they see Him in me.
-Gravy JMM

"Deny Religion, Embrace Jesus"

Ah the joys of a traditional Easter Sunday...this is one of 2 times a year most people make it a point to come to a building and I guess punch in their ticket so God can see that they were at "church". This is also were traditionalists and religious people make not of that and do nothing but stay seated on their "throne". I am a recovering traditionalist as well as a recovering religious spiritualist. Let me explain...someone who suffers from a religious spirit, knows all the answers as per the bible and fail to live them. The Book of James says that were aren't to just merely listen to the Word, but do what it says...someone with a religious spirit doesn't do what the Word says, its all a talk. If this was 2000 years ago, Jesus would have referred to me as a Pharisee...Jesus would have said to me that my lips praise Him but my heart is far from Him. Like I said, I am a recovering religious spiritualist...I didn't go to "church" on Sunday, I went to a building and had fellowship and sang praises with my brothers and sisters in Christ who belong to HIS church. Being a minister is something I "get" to do, not something I "have" to do. I don't go to a "church"; I belong to His' church. I am happy that there are those who only come to a building a couple times year, I just glad that they are there and I pray that seeds are planted that God can water and that they don't see me but they see Christ in me. A Pharisee thought highly of themselves, they knew the all answers and they were never wrong. How can God use me, if I am full of myself...He can't. I have a bumper sticker on my guitar case that says "Deny Religion, Embrace Jesus"...the greatest thing one can do is have a personal relationship with Jesus, not some religion...money can buy religion, but not hope, peace, strength, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love which comes from God through Jesus. When I was baptized, or when I read the Bible, or when I come to a building on Sunday... I am doing nothing for God; those are all gifts that He gave me. Its not about head-knowledge, its about TRANSFORMATION. Its about a 24/7 lifestyle. Its not about pleasing people, its not about what your giving, its not about what you are doing, its not even about you...it is always, always has been, always will be about GOD. So today enjoy Jesus and let Him come into your life and transform you. Get out of your comfort zone and take God by the hand. Remember worship is not just on Sunday; it is your lifestyle for God.
-Gravy JMM

Go Through It!

I don't necessarily enjoy going to the gym but, I know what the results will be as long as I continue to abide by the disciplines of eating properly with a good exercise plan. Many moons ago, I remember jokingly asking my 3 y.o. if daddy could sleep in his little Spider-man tent...and he with a very serious looking face said, "Daddy you can't, you're too fat." I had remembered that he probably heard me on many occasions saying that I was getting fat because my closes weren't fitting. So after prolonging the inevitable for many, many, many months...I joined a gym. I really stick out at the gym...I always find myself working out between guys who wear those "protocol gym clothes" and make 200 lbs look easy as were I am wearing a goofy tee shirt (thats Goofy from Disney) and can barely bugde 25 lbs. Having said all of that and probably realling wasting your time just to get to my point...walking with the Lord is similar to working out. When one lifts weights, the idea is to break down the muscle in order build the muscles to be stronger...after a few weeks or a month you can go from lifting 25 lbs to 35 to maybe 45, all along you wear yourself out but you become stronger and healthy of course eating properly helps along taking vitamnins. There is NO mircale pill, you just have to continue to work and work in the gym. The results will be a healthy strong body. What does this have to do with walking with the Lord...life is painful. For me all of times I didn't want to deal with pain or problems, I wanted a way out. God's way is not out but through our problems and pain. Truth is...no matter what limitation or circumstance I am struggling against, God can empower and equip me beyond what I thought possible. I need to accept pain as a part of life. Acceptance will help me live in God’s reality so I can adapt and change to the way things really are and learn to trust God. I need to welcome problems in my life as gifts from God to help me become a better Christian for His Kingdom. God sees my difficulties different from the way I do. God’s way is not out of my problems but through them. As stroms arise, either I am going lay down in defeat or I will invite God to be Lord of my entire life and lead me on...God will ge me the strength to grow through any situation. As pain and problems come at me, with God's grace, strength, peace, loving kidness... I will become a stronger Christian in this life. I need a healthy prayer life, a healthy devotion life, bieng still, and a healthy trust and dependency on God. With God I will be stronger as storms arise and things that I thought were impossible will be possible because of the power that God has. I just have to take God by the hand and with Him go through it!
-Gravy JMM

April 6, 2006

Mirror, Mirror on the wall…

“To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:9 – 14

Remember the quote from Snow White…mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all…the evil queen thought she was until the mirror revealed that is was Snow White. The Pharisee believed he was a righteous man but Jesus said that the tax collector was justified because he was humble…the tax collector realized he was a sinner and needed God. When I look in the mirror, I examine myself…do I need to shave, do I need a haircut, do I need to get some facial products for my face…When I am before the God I need to examine myself, but sometimes it’s easier to examine others. Lamentations says, “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.” Sometimes it’s easier, though, to examine others rather than self. I know for me it would be more fun to look at the character defects on those around me becuase I really don't want to look at me to closely...I'm not into change, I want to be comfortable...but if I am comfortable that means I'm talking more than doing. Truth is if I or you or really honest and open before the mirror and God, there's alot of pain and defects that I have or you have but God doesn't waste a hurt or pain. So if you are looking, really honestlty looking into the mirror today...are you wearing a mask or are you real before God and others.

-Gravy JMM