WHO AM I?

Thoughts and questions to ponder:

If God isn’t your source of security, your source of strength, your source of life, than what is? What’s filling the void in your life…if it’s not Jesus, than something is, what is it? What gives you your motivation? You don’t have to be addicted to drugs or alcohol to be an addict! How do you deal with your issues? How do you deal with pain, sorrow, guilt? How do behave behind closed doors…the same when everyone sees you? Do you wear masks around others? Who are you really? What’s really on your mind when your tossing and turning at night when your trying to sleep and can’t? Is it easy to take other people’s inventory rather than look at yourself? I bet you feel that the whole world would be lost without you! Where would people be if you weren’t around? You must have all the right answers! Your way is always better isn’t it! If it wasn’t for “those” people or if my parent(s) did a better job or if so and so hadn’t screwed me over, I’d be okay! If people did things my way, everything would be better! Oh…I’m fine, I don’t have any struggles! Complainer, Quitter, Self-Seeker, My-Wayer, Gossiper, Liar, Procrastinator, Fornicator, Drunkard, Drugger, People-Pleaser, Mask-wearer, Controller, Hater, Power Monger, Unbeliever, No-Self-Esteemer, Pity-Partier, Unfaithfuler, Pornographer, Conditional Lover, Resenter, Two-Facer, Luster, Evil-Doer, Worrier, Doubter, Afraid-to-take-a-chancer, Abuser, Negativitier, Hold-People-To-Your-Standards, Racister, Whinner, Tear-Downer, Non-Listener, Cusser, Overeater, Bad-Mouther, Downer, "Someone Else" er, Playing Churcher, Faker, Blamer, Greedier, Isolator, Pridefuler, Adulterer(Physically or Mentally or Emotionally), It’s all about me so whatever! Oh…I’m fine

Procrastinater Hater

Ya ever had “that” dream were you’re standing around and everyone is looking at you funny, you look down and realize that you’re naked. I believe the term that is used is “being caught with your pants down” which is in reference to not being ready, prepared. Procrastination is a beast. How often do you say to yourself, “I’ll get there” or “I get to it” or “I’ll get around to it here in a bit”…and guess what, what ever that “it” is, never happens. Are you ready for Christ’s return? Are you ready to meet the one and only Savior? Or are you waiting to get around to “it”? Are you putting off getting to know Jesus? Are you thinking that you’ll get around to it one of these days? Tomorrow isn’t promised, all you have is this moment right now. Who’s Lord of your life, God or you? There’s only one way to heaven…and being good isn’t good enough because you or I will never be good enough to save ourselves, that’s why Jesus died for you and I, so we could be saved. Jesus made it possible for you and I to live forever, but you have to decide to follow Him. God’s waiting for you…how much longer will you put Him off?
-gravyjmm

Today is Tuesday November 21, 2006, and tomorrow obviously will be Wednesday November 22…which will be my 29th Birthday. In my short narration of life, I have come to several conclusions and I wish to share them:

Tabasco sauce is a necessity

Do not make sport of the older community’s specific health problems because you will obtain them…i.e. especially anything to do with bowel movements

Even though I have never met or never played or never really done anything with the Washington Redskins other than being a fan for life, I still include myself when I use the “we” statement in referring them as if I had anything to do with the team.

You will fall prey to subliminal messages that Wal-mart flings about and you will find yourself there once a week for the rest of your life buying something simply because it’s cheaper there.

You will fall prey to subliminal messages that McDonalds flings about and you will find yourself there once a week for the rest of your life buying something simply because it’s cheaper there...they have convinced my 4 year old son that they are where he needs to eat

Twinkies are still relevant

I used to be able to eat what I wanted to without adding any more weight to my body...that has apparently stopped working for me

Being married...pennies, nickles, and dimes are very relevant

thats all for now
-gravy jmm

Detox

Ya ever notice that the news at night on TV loves to cover fear, death, crap, and chaos. The media loves to feed us garbage. They (the media, society, take your pick) say that sex, turmoil, gossip, fear, fill in the bank, just sells. You ever notice when you eat things that aren’t that good for you, well you feel tired, out of shape, sick, maybe even depressed. Sometimes the best thing to do is detoxify yourself. Eat right, drinks lots of water, exercise and sweat, you just feel better when all the toxins in your body leave. It’s probably a good idea to detoxify from the media and the TV. To quote Jack Nicholson in Batman, “What this town needs in anemia.” Maybe its time for the garbage to be taken to the road.

-gravy jmm

Where ya standing?

Ah separation of church and state! I love irony! A church can’t endorse any political party or they will lose their tax exemption and get in lots of trouble. Prayer has been removed from schools and there’s even talk of removing “under God” from the pledge. There’s a gag order on people mentioning anything about God in school, workplace, and the like. God’s not allowed in the judicial system. And almost all voting takes place in church buildings. How much longer are God’s children going be tolerate their country not standing where it once stood? Peter told the Sanhedrin that He must obey God rather than men and he wasn’t afraid of what might happen to him. What are Christians so afraid of? The Bible warned of these times and these times are upon us now. God’s got my attention, how about yours…
-gravyjmm

Just Blessed!

Forgive me for not blogging in almost a month. Life has been crazy and our internet has been down. This will seem like I just wrote a book but please bare with this long blog, I has been blessed beyond anything all because of God and if your read this I hope you will be blessed by this testimony of God’s loving kindness and the miracles He does everyday.

Today is November 1, 2006 and my family and I just moved into a new home. How we got into this home can only be explained by this: God and God alone. It starts on June 1, 2006 when I went to my landlord and paid him the rent for the place we were staying in. He told me that he had fallen on some hard times and that the taxes on his property were going up and he was going to sell the house that we were staying in sometime in the near future and he would start working on it somewhere within 3 to 6 months. On June 15, 2006 he called me and told me to be out by the 1st of July. So much for being comfortable. Bob (one of my elders at church) and his wife Terry let us move in with them until we found a place of our own. We moved out on June 29, 2006 and on June 30, 2006…we (my wife and I) found out we were pregnant. We had no insurance and we thought we would be eligible for Medicaid. Well I was wrong. As we moved 90% of our stuff in storage and began to settle in Bob and Terry’s place, we though we’d had a plan laid out for us. Again I was wrong. To make a long story a little shorter. What we wanted to save for a place to live didn’t happen because of numerous things: Medical bills for Melissa’s pregnancy, fixing automobiles, paying off some past due bills and the like. We are on a payment program with hospital for our baby girl to be, to pay for the whole birth and stuff. I thought all the money was needed by January, instead it was all due by November 9, 2006. That wiped us completely out. We had to move out of Bob and Terry’s by the 1st of November. Here’s what I want you to pay attention to…I had made a commitment to God that no matter what I be faithful to Him, finically and spiritually. In our worst times, finically, I was told by many people, even those closest to me, “Don’t give any money to God,” but I stayed the course. I believed in my heart that if I was obedient and faithful to God and just did what He wanted me to do, I would be okay. I was facing the possibility of being homeless with my wife, son, and baby to be but I stayed to the course and held to my commitment to God. I trusted God wouldn’t let my family be homeless and was encouraged that if God can speak the world into existence in 6 days, my problems are nothing for Him to deal with. I had to be out on Friday October 27…on Wednesday my mom called me told that there was this house for rent, I had looked at dozens of house and nothing worked out so I wasn’t going to go besides I had no money, but something to me to check it out. That something turned out to be the Holy Spirit because when I checked out the house it was exactly what we needed and so I called the Landlord and he told me he needed the money by today which was $1700. I didn’t have a nickel, seriously. I had found out that people had given money for my family and I for housing…it was exactly what we needed. We had to be out by Friday October 27, 2006 and I had the keys to this house on Thursday October 26 2006. God did for me what I couldn’t do and He honor my commitment to Him. As an added bonus, I have been surrendering my baby to Him on a daily basis and before this little girl is even born, she has everything she needs. God is so good and He has blessed me so much and I hope this story encourages you to walk and talk with God and trust Him with all your heart and no matter what…stay obedient to Him. Life is painful and God is great all the time. Thanks for listening.

-gravyjmm

so so suck my toe all the way to mexico

Things just keep getting fascinating and stuff. What I thought would be a solo project for a music CD, is turning out to be a new band being formed which we are sounding like Alice in Chains meets Emerson, Lake, and Palmer meets Dear Ephesus meets Folds Zandura meets Praise and Worship…I’m not sure how those sound mixed but I’m thinking it rocks. The suspense is finally over with my wife and I’s pregnancy…we have come to found out that on Feb. 28 2007, which is our due date, that we will be having a baby girl…I’m totally screwed…her name will be Amber Danyelle…isn’t that cute. The joys of new baby…my son is happy and promises to be the bestis (that’s what he said) brother. So have fun in cyber land and remember God loves you and He’s waiting for you.
-gravy jmm

noise of a positive frequency

Are you ready for a noise of a positive frequency? The freakuency is coming soon! To be continued - the "JMF"

anticipating things like fresh cookies from the oven

Anticipation is enjoyable especially when one has something that they are anticipating. In the 1st week of October my wife and I will found out what we are having, either the baby is a boy or a girl. Everybody that I know thinks it’s a girl, but I know the truth…it has to be a boy because no girl has been born on my side of the family and its not starting with me. If it is a girl, I already have a camouflage military issue uniform with a black mask and black gloves. I also just completely time in a music studio and cut a demo and as I blog, the demo is on its way to Nashville. My wife and I also are looking for a place to live as we have a moving date of the 1st week in November…so you see anticipation seems to be a theme in my life. But I am most anticipating Christ’s return, because that will rock on more than anything that has ever rocked on before…can I get a witness or an amen in the house. So as I am anticipating quite much, I am praying that I remain obedient to God and that accept whatever life gives me, because I know that God is bigger than me and any of my circumstances. Would you like fries with your anticipation, sir?
-gravy jmm

"CRICKIE"...R.I.P.

What a bummer…Steve Irwin died this weekend. I always thought that a crocodile or some snake would get him but not a sting ray. Anyways, my son and I enjoyed him and I thought he was very entertaining and hilarious to watch…Steve Irwin will be missed. If you have never Collision Course, I recommend it…its not an academy award type movie, it’s just absolutely funny and crazy.
-gravyjmm

Yea

I have been told that I have been very lackadaisical in my blogish ways. Forgive me and I will try to post more frequently.

Today is Monday and Ernesto seems to be heading towards Florida…yeah, another hurricane. This looks like this will be my 4th one in 3 years…bring it! I love the hostility that people have with each other during “these” times. Water, non-perishables, and gas become an essential commodity and people will just “scrap” over what they had first or that they were in line first…I’m sure you’ve seen it. It’s like what happens at 5:30 am on Black Friday, only worse. Any-the-ways, this is probably a good time for us “Jesus Freaks” to show the love and trust in which we have in God. I have learned that a lost world only sees Jesus in me, so it’s a good time to display Him, actually any and all time is a good time to display Jesus. Ready…how can I serve you today?
-gravyjmm

SPPOOOOONNN!

About six years ago I remember having a conversation with a fellow co-worker, that was once a democrat mayor somewhere in New York, and we had a discussion on truth. I held a spoon up and asked him what I was holding and he said, “I perceive it as a spoon, but someone else might not see that it is a spoon.” I replied by saying, “Someone’s ignorance that this is a spoon doesn’t change the fact that is a spoon.” What he was saying is that what truth is to me is different than what truth is to you. Because of this kind of thinking, we have 3, 687, 944 branches of the church as well as some 6, 345, 783 false religions. Because of this thinking, the world is as it is today. The truth is, I am in a recovery program because I used to look at my version of the” truth”. Jesus says to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and love your neighbor as yourself, but I say what’s in it for me and its all about me. Jesus says that truth will set you free. I wonder how tainted are thinking really is? How far away is the world from truth? Truth is…I have gas and it smells! Does the way you think smell?

-gravyjmm

an “electronicphenomena”…

Well, I just got back from an awesome week of camp. I was blessed to be a counselor for a well mixed group of young men from the ages of 12 -14. They were challenged as well as I was challenged to get unplugged from the world and plug into God. In a world full of “myspaces”, ipods, laptops, internet cyberworlds, cell phones that do what a computer does, xbox-nintendo-playstation game systems, an “electronicphenomena”…there seems to be plenty of distractions to divert one from God. I have to admit that I am guilty of being distracted from God because of my desire to succumb to this electronicphenomena. I have heard it said in the form of a military attack, the idea is to surprise your enemy as their attention is diverted. Well it seems that our attention is sure diverted and the devil is waiting like a lion ready to devour. I was challenged this last week to check myself and see how much of me I am devoting God and how much of me isn’t devoted to God. Is my prayer time less than my TV or Computer time? I am properly worshipping God or am I just singing? How much time do I really spend in His Truth (The Bible)? What am I doing with gifts He has blessed me with, am I receiving glory or am I giving Him glory? Am I being a good steward of the money that He has given me or am I treating the money that He has given me as “mine”? It’s good to be challenged, being comfortable means that I’m not doing anything. Maybe you are one who needs to unplug for bit and plug into God. Blogatchalater!
-gravyjmm

Truth from a 3 year old

The wisdom of 3 year old is just something. Its amazing as adults, we sometimes do not say the truth out of fear that someone isn’t going like us or the fear that we will hurt someone’s feelings. A 3 year old doesn’t have this fear. My son recently offended Buddhism…how? While mommy was packing to move, I took him with me to A Chinese restaurant, for some take-out…and whilst in the restaurant, he pointed his finger and asked me what “that” was…”that” was a statue of Buddha”, I replied to him and he in a very serious response said, “ Oh…he has boobies.” He said this in a loud voice that every Buddhist in the room could hear, easily offending their religion. This got me thinking…did he really offend that religion? Now while he’s 3 and not really able to understand the concept of “speaking truth in love”, my son was simply stating what he saw. We live in a world full of “religions” and I don’t believe in a religion because, speaking for myself, I don’t believe that their in any hope or peace or joy in any religion. For me all hope, peace, and joy come from one thing…Jesus. And he didn’t teach about religion, He taught about a relationship. Jesus never feared as His Father, our Father, in Heaven never feared on speaking the truth in love…so why do we, why do I? The truth is that there is only one truth and that is God’s truth and everything else is wrong…it’s a fact, not a belief. In a world that’s so corrupted and immoral and think its time for me to not only speak but live that truth in love, no matter the cost. The wisdom from a 3 y.o. can really be an eye opener.

-gravyjmm

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks I needed that…ever have “one-of-those” months! Not that there is anything wrong with “one-of-those” months, it just been crazy, but that life and God is always good no matter what circumstance I’m in. Being a full-time minister of youth in summertime can be a quite busy on top of moving and having a family, mixed in with multiple “stuff” from church and throw in a little of life “things”...June has just been exceptionally active, throw in my wife and I’s 2nd Anniversary and because God has sense of humor, I just found out that wife is pregnant. I will blog more on Wednesday.
Scream atyalater

-gravyjmm

I have just been to my first Promise Keepers here in Florida. I thoroughly enjoyed it…for the fellowship, for the impact it made on me personally (Spiritually), and for the challenges PK laid out for me. It was called “UNLEASHED” which all the speakers just let it go, there were many times that the men were shouting and clapping and at one point I believe I said, “Heck Yea”. Many “well-made” points were made but 2 that really stuck out were:

1. If my walk with the Lord isn’t there, how can I lead people to Him, I can’t give away what I don’t have.
2. Before the Living Fountain can flow, I must allow God to put the well in my life.

That’s some good eatin’ to chew on for awhile. Hey today is 6/6/06 which means that there will be some paranoid people out today…have fun!

-Gravyjmm

Are you paranoid?

Paranoid - par•a•noid (păr'ə-noid')

adj.
1. Relating to, characteristic of, or affected with paranoia.
2. Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others: a paranoid suspicion that the phone might be bugged.

I’ve noticed that Arby’s is advertising that their chicken is 100% real chicken…does this mean that other so called “fast food” places serve only partial chicken . I remember working for McDonalds “back in the day” and I was a big fan of the McRib Sandwich, My boss who happened to be my best friend told me that I wouldn’t eat them anymore after I saw how they looked coming from the box to the cooker…he was so right…they looked like frozen formed pink play-dough blocks and if I remember correctly, the ingredients included the word “etc.”…speaking of McRibs, I haven’t seen them in almost 10 years…

What if the labels that you read on the outside of food that you purchase isn’t correct…how do I know that those labels are what they say they are? Is it possible that the protein, cholesterol, carbs, and vitamin count on the labels are wrong? Wouldn’t it be funny when we get to heaven and God smiled and said, “You could have eaten those carbs, cholesterol, and fat”…

How does a chunk of metal a.k.a the airplane stay in the air?

What do doctors or surgeons really do when they put you to sleep and “perform” surgery? What if really only took 15 minutes compared to 3 hours as they say. I wonder if we are being laughed at people when we supposedly “bite the bullet” and pay lots of money for $5 to $15 procedure or stuff.

I wonder what the government actually really bugs…telephones, cell phones, internet, TV…think about that for while.

Actually none of this stuff really bothers me but I thought that it would give those who read this blog, some interesting things to think about. About the only paranoid that I know is that one song from Black Sabbath…for some of you out there, I probably really messed you up. It’s okay… trust God, it works believe me. Have fun!

-Gravy jmm

Today is 5th Step Freedom

Today is Thursday and tonight at 6 pm, I will sit with my sponsor in celebrate recovery and do the 5th Step in Celebrate Recovery:

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. “Therefore, confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed.” James 5:16 NIV

This is an absolute 1st for me…confession, a complete confession to another human being that I trust of everything that I kept hidden…whether sin, pain, feelings…it is all coming out, 28 years of “stuffed” stuff, tonight and I am actually really excited. For me, there is so much healing in sharing, taking my mask off and just being real helps me so much in my walk. Tonight my sponsor will point at my character defects that I display which I now look as a blessing because now I can identify my stuff and surrender it to God on an hourly, day by day basis. They tell me when I am done with my 5th step that I don’t have to pick it up again…EVER. It is finished…move forward...why should I pick it up ever again when God has not only forgiven me, but forgotten? WRECKLESS ABANDON ,BABY…I believe William Wallace said in best in the movie Braveheart, “FFFRRREEEDDDOOOMMM.” In the words of the man, Jesus, “Get behind me Satan.” WOOOOO, YEAH
-Gravy jmm

cars are fun to fix

God is great and cars break. My history with cars isn’t great but hey what fun would life be without cars and the fact that they break. Today is Friday and my wife and I currently have 2 cars…both of which probably will be living with God soon but hopefully not until we have replaced them. I must though, say that God has blessed me with vehicles, and they might not have been Bentleys, but they were God-sent and that makes them special. My 1997 Nissan was a gift from God because the car I had in 2004 was destroyed by Hurricane Frances and someone just gave me that car. I just put, well I didn’t, put a new rotor and new brake pads on the front of the car. It currently has working air condition but needs new rear brakes as well as a new radiator. My wife’s car which is worse has 2 windows that don’t work and as of today, it needs a new tire as well as the alignment is shot and it needs new brakes both in the front and back. Her car is 1997 Lumina and its air condition is shot and it has fewer miles than mine. Cars are objects and they break and God wouldn’t have me lose my serenity over it. Besides I am sure that the 3 people who read this blog can understand the fact that cars break and that they break at the most inconvenient time. But of course God’s time is never inconvenient. What I guess makes it inconvenient for me is not the fact that cars break because I have come to accept that years ago, what makes it inconvenient for me is that gas costs $9,786.73 a gallon…of course that is a “jamesim” (see GBH for explanation of term). I guess what I really want to say is…it would be cool to have those hover boards that they had in Back to the Future II which took place in 2015 which is only 9 years away and it seems we are no way near what they predicted the future to look in that movie which really bums me out. To quote C. Thomas Howell in the movie Red Dawn…”Wolverine”

-Gravy jmm

I'm sick so here's a some funny bulletin bloopers

I always seem to get sick this time of year with the stupid cold/flu thing. My old thinking was this is really inconvenient…I can’t do this, I can’t touch this, blah, blah, blah. My thinking this time was…hey I can rest which I got very little because we have a puppy that believes his daddy’s arm is his teething bone. Any-the-way, needless to say I’m using Lysol. Since I am sick and have a major brain fog issue…as the GBH has always told me, “Dude you have random thoughts.” Here are some of my favorite church bulletin bloppers:

• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
• The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
• Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
• On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
• Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

My personal favorite
• Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Here’s one from our bulletin back in the day around 2001: we normally would have a bold message in our bulletin that read “Pantry needs” only this one time it read “Panty needs” which all of our seniors were red in the face.
-Gravy jmm